Fundamentals of Yes Ma’am Ban!

Trans-Alaska-Pipeline for Dummies “Love Minus Zero”. How many freak’n 5^th Floor Bragaw “Presidents” for the Alyeska Pipeline Service Company have been a yes ma’am “Lady”? Maybe that’s the problem, just too damn “bromantic” that good ol’ Roy boy toy network! Do you really think the EXXONageddon would have occurred if Rachal Maddcow was in charge? Maybe ol’ poor boy as poor boy Bill, he never made it to the top of “it’s a man’s world” even though he knew about all the secret weddings, engagements that is finger on the pulse. When “Spy meets Spy” and “Me and you and you and me, no matter how they toss the dice it had to be, the only one for me is you and you for me, so happy together”! They funk’n spied on us so we spied back, eye-for-an-eye, toothache-for a-toothache. And did somebody really threaten to throw an inspector out the door, of a helicopter flying on high? OK, so what is the problem with threats, as I am guilty of the same - almost took a pipe wrench to a rowdy drunk tanker guy down in Valdez, when I was on the Alyeska payroll clock long before Joe lost his way in the…what fog? You best yield that right-of-way a guy wielding a RIGID. And when it was reported up that chain-gang of command, do you think the guilty was tracked down? Yes, on “Mobius Watch” as I became the non-innocent because tanker ABs - once Able-Bodied now alcohol bound - these bullies work for “Big Oil”. Which means their shit don’t stink and the guilty was now the innocent and vice versa.

Fast forward for enjoyment, do you really think by bringing in a Rear Admiral could change the Pipeline People “cult-ure? The “back door” stuff, so maybe there is hope but I got really tired of listening to “Goofy Zee” talk about back-dooring his slave when waiting for a permit to fix things “crashing” around us. For real, waiting for a work permit and a “safe out” because the lights are blinking at 45-Hertz but held hostage listening to some guy talk about “backdoor” enjoyment, mind you on a Sunday church day! OK, maybe it is a better equipped company to handle another oil spill, for that I give credit but it is too early to tell if “we learn from our mistakes” finds a fascination or another frustration, as there will be a next time! I mean, wannabe Deep Water Horizon snipers are using the pipeline for target practice. And have you any idea how many bullet holes have penetrated that outside insulation and maybe compromised that pipe? And it’s encouraged, as the Alyeska “Home” shows its workers banishing rifles, what do you expect! For real, the entire line should be un-wrapped and inspected. Only kidding as a bullet cannot penetrate that steel hulk just like “Bligh Reef” didn’t hurt the EXXON Valdez and its “Oriental Syndrome Nicety” steel hull. So hold off…for real, throwing an inspector to the wolves? But what is with the Alyeska “mindset”, that continues to get this organization in self-inflicted oil spills?

Can you share an example of how you have seen Alyeska's values of safety, teamwork, and innovation demonstrated on TAPS? As an example of innovation:
 

“Yes. Certain Pump Station 8 technicians (without the help of engineering) figured out a way to run the topping unit heater using the naptha that was flowing into the resid stream (essentially being wasted).  We implemented that and didn’t burn hundreds of gallons of turbine fuel a day”. 

WAAAAELL LAA DE FRICKIN’ DA, there is this thing called an “Air Quality Permit” issued by the State of Alaska and when you change a “fuel source”, it requires…no wonder “without the help of engineering”. It is no different then a bullet hole and some guy trying to cop a plea bargain that he had no idea his trigger-happy finger could do so much damage - a slow leak but just as dangerous. AMAZING, taking credit for this kind of mischief, and isn’t “resid” a component of the “Quality Bank”???? One of those “streams” best left well enough alone. Wonder what the “Spreadsheet Masterbaters” think about this, those wannabe “Measurement Specialists”? Is this guy still with the company? Promoted to engineering! But no different when “without the help of engineering” the retirement community at Pump Station#5 went tired of cleaning the “shit bags” so re-plumbed the human waste back into the pipeline. OK, maybe it was Pump#7. Regardless, “Go south young man turds, go south”! Hey with 18-crude oil storage tanks, lots of room for “floaters” in Valdez.

During my tenure with Uncle Al, as I remember the “stairway to misbehaving” found only two elements, none of surprise. To advance up the shoots & ladder, two fundamental wherewithal, we didn’t learn it all in kindergarten. Like one potential candidate in line for a promotion, based not on merit but “diarrhea of the mouth bribery”, just “Kiss everything that looks or smells like an ass” was his sentiment for success with Alyeska. For real, when he would return from a meeting at corporate, swear he must have stepped in dog crap. He was good at that “kiss it”, and soon headed up the “poop shoot”. Look, I spent hours in Theo Polasek’s office and just as many hours in David Pritchard’s office, and NO I do not “Kiss Ass”. One day out of the blue, Theo offers me a new position, like this was the way to get rid of a problem child? I wasn’t a child, but felt abandoned, as there were problems galore that needed the attention of somebody that cared. So kudos to Joe Hazelwood, in finally getting that point across that there was a mind-field of problems. And NO, I was not like the other scum bags that thought “Custody Transfer” had to do with spousal abuse and time to throw the kids away. I was not, repeat, was not wasting time in the V.P.’s office on my own time for a favor. Should have seen the 2^nd Boss’ demeaner when I refused the offer in promotion a new job title and the opportunity to work with the “Spreadsheet Masterbaters” in the “Oil Movement’s Sidetracking Accuracy Measurement Department”! And you only get one chance in a situation like that an offer in compromise - I made the right choice as I bend over to no one, even if that were the only ways and means to save my career with Alyeska. And this “kiss the ass” higher up on the chain, it also went overboard Alyeska and melted in with the “Owner Company” as they owned Alyeska of course the reason Joe Hazelwood went off-course. It was a monkey-see and monkey-do mentality. Case in point, when Alyeska’s George Nelson kissed Harold Heinze’s ass 4-days into the EXXON Valdez disaster in the making, as oil was still leaking from the wreck:

MR. ARCO Harold HEINZE: Well, if you can convoy tankers through minefields, you can -- you can get them through a little oil.

~ Now George, repeat after me…
MR. NELSON: Yeah. You can get then through a little oil, yeah.

Just a little oil, no big deal sending workers through a mind field. Hope you get the point. OK, I lost my train of thought! There was but for a single way up the ladder in the old days. I always wondered what it would have been like if Alyeska was a private company that had to go it on its own, to operate and make a profit - that’s when the deadbeat deadwood finds elimination and to your left the “Un-employment Line”.

So kudos to the “New” Alyeska, how it is now enjoying a reclaim on the “Most Ethical” company on Bragaw Street, in competition with the Bush Company and I wonder how much that cost in George Nelson United Way “Fuck Bucks”. Look, Alyeska has been there before, what makes you think Uncle Al has learned from its mistakes?  But for those of us in the know - those of us that were “spied” upon and of course Alyeska was caught “red handed”, do you think this “New Image” and ethical miracle has erased what the “SPY” found? Maybe there exists some pictures of Goofy “back dooring” his slave girl…look, there was a reason there came a concerted effort to “Unionize” back in the early days. Outside interference REPRESENTATION means PROTECTION! Alyeska would have been an honorable company had the lawyers let the “UNION” rise to glory as we could not trust the bastards back then and that is why we were spied upon - a flagrant violation of our rights under the Founding Fathers framework in Constitutionality. It was Un-PATRIOTIC, to spy on dedicated workers and even though very little has surfaced, we could have easily gotten rid of the bastards that ruined a good thing had the “UNION” been able to exist and grow. Now I am sure there are many that would disagree with my assessment that a ma’am would have been a better fit if a “Union” was not welcome, but a few of us were in the know of what went on, as there was a backdoor to the Filth Floor. Here is the key. Had Alyeska’s “legal sleaze” said OK to the “UNION” since it could not stand a “Lady in Waiting”, the EXXONageddon would never have happened. Why so? Well we were sick and tired in Valdez of carrying “drunks” along the Causeways that connected “land ahoy” to the tanker berths and fending for ourselves with a pipe wrench in protection, as being an escort for these backdoor whores was not in our best interest job descriptions and never would a “Union” allow such abuse, as that is not covered under any worker’s compensation claim. And yes “backdoor” us workers some more, as the only way a drunk tanker crew could get through Alyeska’s security and get safe and away under the radar to the tanker berth along a “Restricted Causeway” is due that “backdoor” and no different then the “backdoor” to the Filth Floor of Bragaw, as this backdoor was known about. And anybody that frowns upon what was so well known about, where’s my RIGID 818 as there are some loose bolts, still! Hey, maybe that is what Bernie Sanders was talking about when he said no way to a “Lady” President, as it has Alyeska written all over it in shame chalk.